By Sarah MacLaughlin, LSW
Some people hear the words “summer camp” and think of long sunny days filled with crafty activities, swimming and friendship. Others hear those words and think, sexual abuse. It’s not a fun topic, but it’s one all parents should be aware of and educated about. Local sex therapist and sexuality educator, Jennifer Wiessner, LCSW teaches workshops for parents and educators about sexually healthy children and has led professional development offerings on healthy sexuality for summer camps in Maine. You can ask your child’s camp if they have trained their staff in this important area, but that’s not the only thing you can do to prevent sexual abuse. Here are some additional tips for parents in this area:
1. Empower children to think for and check in with themselves. Ask them often, “How do you feel?” and “What do you think?” Help them identify when they feel nervous and get a “funny feeling” in their tummy. If your little ones believe that you trust them and will listen, they will be more likely to come to you if they are ever in a situation that feels uncomfortable.
2. Teach the proper names for body parts and functions. Yes, all the body parts! Get support and practice beforehand if needed. The best approach to body and sex education is not a one time “talk.” Aim for early, frequent and developmentally appropriate discussions over time about bodies (and what they do), gender, consent, sex, relationships and sexuality.
3. Set firm boundaries—yours and theirs. Pay attention to when you need to say “no,” and make space for children to say it, too. Encourage body autonomy and consent by not requiring them to hug or kiss anyone they do not wish to hug and kiss (yes, even grandparents). Let them give a wave or a high-five if they choose. This lays the groundwork for a good understanding of consent as they grow into teens and adults.
4. Be mindful of the messages you are sending. Do not prep children with these types of directives when you drop them off to others: “Be good,” or “Do what you’re told.” Praising compliance is a slippery slope. Maybe encourage your children to: “Have fun, trust yourself, and make good choices,” instead. Well-behaved, obedient, passive kids are often the ones targeted with grooming, boundary-pushing and even abuse.
